Winter Solace
The enchanted moment, where the ice crystals sparkle in the early morning sunlight, can’t be captured in a photograph and the peacefulness is just as breathtaking. The world is too noisy and busy and moments like this are magical. The only sounds other than nature – the river flowing, the squirrel chatter and birds, are my boots crunching the frozen snow. Hope, our border collie is with me. This is joy.
After my walk I enjoy time by the fire. It is such a delight not having to have every moment accounted for with work or being some place.
Life’s been too sad and busy lately; especially with Hope so sick. Her breathing was immensely labored during the night Sunday. We didn’t expect her to make it through until morning. I waited as long as I could and then texted Linda, our veterinarian at 6:40AM: Linda
Hope seemed fine until yesterday evening
She took her pain pill in the cheese begrudgingly yesterday evening instead of excitedly
I heard Bruce up during the night comforting Hope and then I heard her labored breathing and that’s how our night went
She’s still with us but unable to stand
She likes the soft food with hot water but won’t eat it
Bruce tried to help her get up and she can’t stand
Linda texted back: I’ll get dressed, load the car and head your way shortly.
We went through Joy dying a year ago…it’s too soon, it’s too soon…
Life doesn’t care…it is what it is… Linda quickly diagnoses Hope with autoimmune disease. Linda gives Hope a shot and oral medicine. There are two other female border collies in our little village under Linda’s care with this unusual disease. One is older and one is younger. We have a very sick girl. There are several times from Monday until Linda comes over Thursday afternoon to check on Hope that we didn’t expect her to live. She’s very sick with a fatal disease but she is now walking our nature trail and eating and drinking and having quiet nights (she had seizures during the night Monday and another Tuesday morning – horrible to witness) Linda has been skeptical about Hope’s chances to even continue for awhile…
Hourly, Bruce helps Hope stand and he takes her outside. Tuesday and Wednesday Hope continues to slowly improve and Thursday morning my text message: Great night. Going up and down the stairs to go outside. Ate a big breakfast and had a big drink of water. Walked down to the river with Bruce.
Linda texted back: I can’t put enough hearts on this!
By the time Linda checks on Hope Thursday afternoon our canine companion has been walking the nature trail. Nothing is as it was but she almost died several times the last few days so this is a sort of miracle. Hope will be on medicine the rest of her life and have checkup with Linda regularly. She is very sick. We are absolutely fortunate to still have her with us.
Life is a fast, bittersweet, roller coaster ride.
Hope walking with me a bit ago:
I especially enjoy our Christmas in the soft morning and evening light…
My back’s been hurting much more than usual. I missed a board meeting at the first of the month because it was so bad and went to the doctor. It’s tons better but not pain-free. Will I ever be pain free again…stress has my neck hurting and of course my knee (s) hurt off and on. I am short with my beloved – I know this is because I hurt.
We went to church last night. Fr. Andres came in from Gunnison to give us a mass during advent. I go to confession. It wasn’t planned. Confession wasn’t something I ever did growing up after we moved from New Orleans. I always went to Catholic school but after St Philip Neri (K-3rd) where we went to confession and mass every Friday as a class my father was transfered to Houston and I went to Assumption (4th – 8th) and then Nolan High School in Ft Worth and confession was never mentioned. I went to mass at Nolan when I wanted to – never even thought about confession.
A Catholic priest, teacher, friend – Fr. Manahan (I called him Fr Man. He called me Jewel) and I were sitting outside (after my high school graduation I think) talking and somehow in that conversation he said that I was absolved of my sins. I asked if this was / like confession – yep. Ok then – that had to be about 50 years ago…
Is anything particular on your mind? Advent? Preparing for Christmas? Pain? Joy? Life’s fast pace bittersweetness…
“Walks in nature are hugs for my soul.” Julie A R Stephens
julie@handsbestrong.com
I always really enjoy receiving your blog. I am sorry to hear about Hope but am happy she is doing better. It is hard when your fur babies are sick.
Thank you kindly Roxanne. Hope has a terminal disease and I imagine she could be up and down for the rest of her life. It is hard – especially so soon after Joy…
Thank you for caring – hugs