Love is universal.
My husband and I just became new grandparents! It is deeply sacred, knowing that now, we are always connected with this child. I shared this happy news with numerous of supportive girlfriends.
There are other people, who would call me their friend, yet who would disapprovingly judge my daughter and perhaps me as well.
Next week my husband and I celebrate our 44th wedding anniversary. Often I am amazed that we made it. I was 20 years old and husband 22 when we wed much to the disapproving, harsh judgments of our parents and the hushed tones and wagging of heads from their sympathetic friends and other relatives. We were considered a mixed marriage back then; downright scandalous. I was raised catholic and my love, Church of Christ. When our daughter wed in 2017 she dealt with the same eyebrow raising, harsh judgmental tones that her parents had endured 40 years earlier.
Our gay daughter and her wife wanted to love and raise a child. Rather bring another person into the overcrowded world with in vitro, they decided to give a home to a child who was already born. After going through all the classes and training sessions to become foster parents, 2 summers ago, 3 day old Soul entered their home and their hearts. Yesterday on zoom I watched the adoption. I watched while this little person, still sleepy from having been awoken early from his nap, oblivious of the importance of the occasion, became my grandchild.
The West Wing is a favorite TV show for my husband and me. A favorite episode of mine deals with the sadly always current topic of how to stop hate crimes. Here is some of the script of the show dealing with the hate crime of homosexuality:
JACOBS: I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
BARTLET: Yes it does. Leviticus!
BARTLET: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I wanted to sell my youngest daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown Sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?
BARTLET: While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGary, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? Or is it okay to call the police?
BARTLET: Here’s one that’s really important, because we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you?
I want Soul to grow up in a kinder world; a world with much less judgment and much less hate and much more love. I want him to come play with his grandpa and juju in the mountains. We live in the perfect place for children to play – no need to get in the car and go anywhere to play – a mountain stream is out our garden gate and down the path, perfect for wadding, boat sailing, stone skipping and there’s a nature trail to walk and a field for kite flying…it’s all just waiting for a little boy to come play with his loving grandparents in the mountains.
What kind thoughts do you have to share?
“May you live all the days of your life.” J. Swift
11 thoughts on “A New Grandchild”
Julie… you have such a magical way with words and thoughts. You are truly one of God’s children and I know he is very proud of you. Congrats on the new grandchild… what a lucky baby!
Thank you Bernadette – I don’t have the words to express the gratitude felt in my heart – we should all be reaping unconditional love from Soul’s adoption hugs & love
Thank you Bernadette – my grateful heart can’t find the words to express the joy felt by your kind comments – we should all be reaping unconditional love from Soul’s adoption – love & hugs
Congratulations on #4! I texted E the other day. Out of the blue! Just to see how their doing and she told me they were adopting Soul the Friday! The girls and i are so happy for them! I need to mail something!
I loved your article. Its all about rushes to judgment from our programming .
I remember being so grateful to you and Bruce, who broke that glass ceiling when you married . I was 18 & Tim 22 when we married and he was Catholic. It was hard, but it was hardest on you two! I love you cousin!
Loving hugs back at ya Claudia! Judgment is WRONG – especially by the people are suppose to love you – who SAY they love you – loving actions speak.
Congratulations on becoming Grandparents. I think its great you daughter and her parent are sharing the love and home with a child. Fred Yeager
Thank you my friend! Right – this situation should just be filled with LOVE all the way around. Appreciate your kind wishes Fred.
I’m overjoyed for the happy couple AND for you and your husband, Julie! All that cruel language and those rules are not reality, they are just another way to separate people into nonexistent classes. I am bisexual myself, and my granddaughter has come out as gay, has a beautiful girlfriend whom we love. We have seen love as love. In the most powerful meditation I’ve ever experienced, I asked what I needed to know. I received 3 words in block letters in my mind – GOD IS LOVE. That leaves no room for doubt – if there is love, God is present in a relationship, regardless of the gender of either partner, and regardless of color or culture.
I’m so happy for your daughter and her partner, too, because you understand and stand by them. How beautiful is that!
GOD IS LOVE! Thank you for that eloquent reminder Kamurrah & for your good & loving wishes.
Julie, Congratulations on your grandson, Soul. There’s nothing better than a grandbaby. Your article is so touching and heartfelt. Sorry you had people judging you on your choice of a husband. Congratulations on being married 44 years. You proved those people wrong. You are a wonderful parent to Soul’s mother.
God Bless your kindness – you gave me goosebumps my friend. Hugs