Girlfriends Renew each other’s Spirits
A famous study by Harvard Medical School has been following female nurses’ health for decades. The study has found that the more friends these women have, the less likely they have been to develop physical impairments as they age. The study determined that not having friends is as harmful to your health as being overweight or smoking.
Me with Erin in 2019 – we live in our little mountain village full-time and have been friends since we met in about 2003 – slowly over the years we have asked other gals to join us. I’m the social director and try to get our girlfriends group together once a month – which often isn’t easy with 5 different schedules – but we make it happen because we want to. We have a potluck luncheon rotating hostess and we laugh a lot!
Our gal group January 2023 celebrating Chris’s birthday – Linda hosted
Back row: Erin, me, Judy
Research shows that close female friendships are more important for women than they are for men. Women are naturally different from men. We think differently, act differently, solve problems differently and are generally more emotionally driven than logically driven. Spending time with girlfriends releases serotonin and oxytocin – the bonding hormones. These connections are important to us as women. Studies show our girlfriends help us to thrive in wellness and may even make us less likely to develop dementia. It makes me really happy for us to get together.
Me and Judy – my husband picked up her husband starting around 2003 to attend the men’s weekly bible breakfast. I would ask Judy to care for our dogs when my husband and I traveled. Over time, especially since Judy has moved here year round, Judy and I have grown close.
When women get together, we gush about what’s going on good in our lives and share the frustrating family dramas.
Raj and I got close on the tour of Austria my husband and I took in October 2022 and still text often
Women rely on each other not only for a shoe-shopping tips but also sometimes to share deep dark secrets – thoughts we don’t generally talk about…
Me with Iris – our guide on our October trip to Germany and Austria – Iris sees I have my down vest on inside out and tells me – while still talking over the microphone she is using to give the group our instructions before we head out for the day
2019 – on the spur of the moment I got a group to gather at CLIMB to meet my visiting from Texas girlfriend Susie
Back row: Ann, Janella, me – Susie is across from me then Chris and Mary
The beneficial effect of having girlfriends is felt even with friends who no longer live nearby. Susie and I became friends back in Texas, attending the same church when raising our children. We often text and talk. An article published on the New York Times website states that women feel they can count on their friends to pull through for them no matter what they are struggling within their lives. Women are each other’s emotional support system. From giving advice, being a shoulder to cry on, keeping secrets, lending a listening ear.
Susie and Chris hit it off – share a laugh!
While generally men and women complement each other, as women, we thrive on strong relationships with our girlfriends. Our friendships give us an outlet to share problems, thoughts, feelings, triumphs and to laugh with those we feel a good connection with. I treasure my girlfriends.
Susie and I walking the glorious autumn mountains during her visit in 2019
Ann and me walking in October 2019. I LOVE TO WALK OUR MOUNTAINS! Having a girlfriend to walk with is a double dip treat! Anne doesn’t live here though. I had given up on having a girlfriend to walk with – I’m blessed to have my husband who also loves to walk.
In 2022 my therapist suggested I get a walking buddy. I told her that was very unlikely to happen – from my therapist lip’s to God’s ear – I met Elisa – in church the winter of 2022 – we don’t attend the same church – they were just moving here…never before had I handed my phone to someone I’d just met and said please enter your contact info – I had no idea if she would want to be walking buddies
In this crazy season of life, getting old and still having my own expectations to accomplish, my connections with my women friends are sustenance. My girlfriends are just a text message or a walk away
Elisa and I walking January 2023
Women have a distinctive way of reading emotions and intuitively recognizing what needs to be done then acting on it. We listen. We understand each other, we validate each other, we share some of the deepest darkest secrets with each other, we share the honest truth with each other, we share intimate family details with each other, we share our accomplishments with each other, we tell each other when we have food on our face or when our shirt is on backward, and we make and share lasting memories with each other.
I expect my good friends to make me feel safe and respected – some people I have thought were my good friends turned out not to be so – have you ever had that experience?
What do your friends do for you? What do you do for your friends?
“The most precious gift we can give one another is letting them know they matter.” Julie A R Stephens
julie@handsbestrong.com
“The most precious gift we can give one another is letting them know they matter.” Julie A R Stephens
julie@handsbestrong.com
As always, a beautiful piece of writing. Julie. Couldn’t agree more about women friends lifting each other up!
Thank you kindly my friend – I’m so glad we met and have stayed connected.
I’m so glad we are friends! It is always a treat walking with you. 💕💖
I totally agree with you my friend – on both accounts!